Monday, November 7, 2011
the view from here.
As I craned my neck to look at the street lamp the way I always do to measure snowfall after dark, I caught myself. A year ago, I looked out the window, hopeful for a vision of snow so thick I couldn't even see the light. I was so eager to have school called out so that I could stay home with Ruby.
Tonight, as I looked out at that light, I reminded myself how thankful I am to be at home. I'm not living for the weekends or the next break in the school year. I am not rushing home to get everything done, just to crawl in bed and not get enough sleep before doing it all over again.
I'm in a different world this year. I'm not just surviving the demands of life. I have exchanged that for the challenge of finding a stimulating atmosphere for Ruby, a happiness for Eisley, and a productive routine that works for all of us. It's not easy. I can't tell you how many times I have heard about stay at home moms having it so easy. For some reason, the stigma attached to a stay at home mom elicits ugly words. Words like lazy and unproductive. Even freedom is spit with bitterness; as if there is nothing for a stay at home mom to do but eat chocolates while being pampered as the maids scurry around to do all else.
Truthfully, this is the hardest job I have ever had. It's the most demanding, the least understanding. It's also the most forgiving, the most rewarding. The hardest job I have ever loved. I can't imagine being elsewhere right now.
And this year? The street lamp clouded with a million tiny snowflakes--that means snuggly mornings with mugs of coffee or an extra hour of reading while I listen to the laughter that fills my house. Life is so good; that fact is not lost on me.