Tuesday, January 28, 2014

life and death.

The shackles and chains have been broken, and he is running free.  Without the heavy burden of ALS resting on every part of his tired body.  We said goodbye to Uncle Harvey on the 21st of January.

I will never forget the way his smile lit up a room, the way he made everyone know how special they are, or the way his laugh reverberated in a room.

Death is such a startling confrontation with this reality we live.  I sat beside my sister in law, our nephew tucked safely in her belly.  The world hasn't yet greeted him, but he is oh so alive!  Barely beginning his journey as we said goodbye to someone on the other side of this life.  Surreal.

Twelve days after he left this earth, his precious wife gave up her battle with cancer and joined him - they are healed and together once more.

Jimmy came home with a tempting offer to run away to the enchanting Rome.  A tempting idea when I think of the number of funerals we have attended, the countless social engagements, and the somehow mundane and stressful nature that has been January 2014.

Everything around us is blanketed in white, the trees looking eerily spectacular with an icy dimension.  I drove today with an overwhelmed brain and a sad heart.

You are wanted
                              To every broken heart, He stands with open arms
You are wanted

My breath caught and my eyes welled.  I'm sad because of our loss.  They are no longer hurting, and they are at the loving feet of Jesus.  I am strung out over school decisions and Disney events, and Dress Like a Clown Day.  I'm doing the very best that I know how with my children.  And it matters.  I matter.

Ruby presents a poster and some of her most treasured possessions this week at school.  She chose to bring her bible as her favorite book.  

Motherhood is draining, but oh so rewarding!

I'm sad and refreshed.  And happy and thankful.  Thankful to know the love of Jesus in moments like these.  Thankful for all that I have.  And thankful for today.

Last week, a lady stopped me to admire the dress Ruby twirled in - she asked if she could look closely at it.  She was the designer of the pattern I used to create that dress; a pattern I purchased on a whim last summer.  My mind was blown for an entire couple of days.

Life is funny, isn't it?

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