Thursday, December 5, 2013

life lessons

Tuesday was one of those days.  I declared for the never-occuring naptime to hold an emergency session immediately, and that was that.  Eisley has started something quite high-maintenance that I secretly adore.  We throw her blankets in the dryer, wrap her up like a burrito and snuggle under the warmth until we are both sleepy.  Usually, I sweep her hair to the side, listen to her breathing slow, and watch her eyelids close in on their dreams.  Yesterday, I crawled in beside her and slept on a snowy afternoon.

And sort of like magic, all was well when we woke.  And miracle status was achieved when Eisley slept through the night for the first time in two weeks.

Yesterday seemed to fill in where Tuesday left off, and I knew I was failing in the game of life.  Those scenes where one opens the closet door and ends up on the floor under an impossible amount of stuff?  Life. Life on top.  With me beneath it.  I actually a threw away a batch of cookies yesterday because they were ugly.  (This was met with demands from a loving, patient man to go to bed.)

We've been dealt a rough hand in the game of family news this week.  After an overwhelmingly-stupid mistake last night, I left my husband wondering if he had married a psychopath, and just cried.  The bad news, the mounting to-do list, THE GERMS, the ways in which my life has lost simplicity-- it all came tumbling down.

For a person that thrives on control and order, the unexpected is unacceptable.  However shameful it is to admit, I have always held onto the idea that I can handle things.  Last night, I gave in.  I pitifully told God I was done - he could have all of my problems.  I wasn't going to deal with them anymore.

Four stressful things were gone this morning.  Just like that.  I'm taking notes.

I plan to bake {beautiful} cookies. Today, I will be thankful for the simple things.  The life I live.  And even my problems.  Our high is in the negatives, so while we are evidently experiencing Antarctica, it seems like a good idea to ground myself with snuggles, thankfuls, and a tackled to do list.

Please keep our family in your prayers!

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