Saturday, May 18, 2013

full circle

When life completes tangible circles, my list-loving, type A self becomes slightly giddy.  It just seems so organized.  I can still retrace my steps to the feelings of hopeful anticipation and guarded excitement.  Last year, on this very weekend, we were thumbing through MLS papers, slimming the search results with our dream home requests, ever hopeful.

Tonight, I sit in our living room, surrounded by my littlest loves, the summer scented breeze from outside, and my mug of coffee.  In our home.  We spent the week walking - drinking in the sweetness of spring.  Watching the dreams of others being built up around us.  We are always on the lookout for the "white flowers" - the ones best for making wishes, the birds in the sky, and the camouflaged rabbits.

I also started running this week.  Because the outside is too pretty not to enjoy, and because I have had my fair share of enjoyment with...doughnuts.  And cake.  I'm proud of myself because I actually hate the idea of running so much, I can feel my joints begin to ache just thinking about it.

And I'm doing it.  Slowly but a way that surely deserves cupcakes or something, which would almost defeat the entire purpose of this, except for (shhh!) I sort of like it.

Ruby had her first ballet recital this week - I'm sure every parent walked out proud, but good grief, I love this girl.  She made us proud.  I know next to nothing about ballet, but this girl performed her precious heart out, and I sat there in disbelief.  How is this happening? - my girl with the sparkly eyes on stage performing like no one is watching.

That's a whole lot of photos of um...dirt.  But there are seeds in there.  And I haven't killed anything yet, and that's pretty much something of miracle status.  We planted our pizza garden and our butterfly garden - black thumb, be darned, I am determined not to kill everything we have planted.

I'm going to go ahead and add transplanting flowers into oversize planters to my success list, because we're on day three with nothing dead.  I hope this continues, because they make a lovely addition to the drinks on the porch.

My mom and sister visited this weekend - they brought newest addition, a sweet hunk of love named Pearl.  Ruby was smitten immediately; it took Eisley slightly less than twenty-four hours to decide she loved the "bear."

This week, I carefully chose a journal to document the little things.  I signed it over to my beautiful children, and I hope one day they will sit and read it together.  I savor these moments, but I can already feel them slipping through the cracks of time.  I want them to have the words, penned by me, to recreate the faded memories of their childhood.  I want them to know what filled our days - the things I loved about them most, and the things they loved as the years went by.


Earlier this week, Eisley had very little of her dinner remaining - a small bit of pizza, and a bit of banana.  She asked me for ketchup, and given the food (lack thereof) that was on her plate, I told her I didn't think she needed any.  She looked at me and said, "Jesus LOVES you!"  Only Eisley would use something like that to aid her will in getting things.


I have to make this note.  The crying that once set the tone for our days seems to have left us.  I don't know what things stress out a four year old - preschool deadlines, apparently, but she is back to my happy, sweet girl.  The warm weather and change of pace has worked wonders.

Other happy things:

monkey bread on Great Grandma Ruby's vintage plates in various hues of ugly browns that you can't help but love.

talking to my own Grandma on the phone - something about that familiar voice, there always has been. We'll see her soon, and it's long over due.

trip planning.  and more trip planning.  and then some more.

sleep again.  We went through a rough couple of weeks where both girls woke up every night.  I have likely just jinxed the phenomenon, but the sleeping through the night is a beautiful thing.

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