Monday, October 10, 2011
Things I have learned in the last few days:
A nearly ripped off fingernail doesn't feel any better in the hours or days following such trauma. And, it will invariable catch on every.single.thing.
Babies and pregnant bellies are an excuse for all social etiquette to be tossed right out the window. I'm in the second go 'round and am still appalled by the number of people that touch my baby's face and her fingers. I am about to start carrying some mace. I'm sort of kidding.
I survived the Fridge Cleaning of 2011. Barely. I won't say how many unidentifiable substances were found. I also won't tell you the last time I cleaned it out.
Those signs on the gas pumps that say not to leave your car unattended? That goes for not pumping too. Read this very carefully: don't go in for an ice cream sandwich before you pump your gas when all pumps are full.
You'll never believe it, but 1/2" on a baking pan makes a huge difference when you're baking brownies. Just ask my oven who had close encounters of the sticky, chocolatey kind.
The baby will find microscopic things on the floor and perfect her projectile vomiting skills when you fish the mystery object out.
The lady in front of you at Bed Bath & Beyond will most certainly spend five minutes looking for a nickel in her change purse while you carry a twenty pound sleeping child, a huge box, and plenty of place settings. With a boulder for a purse hanging off of your arm.
Oh, and also. I am a fabric hoarder.
And my love of doughnuts will never die.
(other things that are not new revelations: I love coffee, I have had too little sleep, grocery shopping while starving should be illegal, and I have extremely cute babies.)