Friday, May 20, 2011

I have not fallen off the planet

Let me just be incredibly real here...I don't have life under control with two little people.  There, I said it.  I have serious issues battling the clock and trying to fit in a clean house, a little bit of me time, and plenty of family time.

I cannot get into a groove around the house which stresses me out in every other aspect of my life; that's just my nature.  I hate to even complain because I have waited all of my life to be a mom, and now I have these incredibly beautiful girls, and I feel like I'm drowning.  And also because I know of plenty of people that would do anything to be where I am now.

I really am thankful.  Truly.  I'm just struggling to find stability and I long for it.  That puts things like blogging at the bottom of the list.  Toss in a couple of graduations (one symbolizing my lat days in the working world for awhile, and the other one meaning my baby sister is no longer a baby...and hasn't been one for a long time), an upcoming wedding, and various traveling ventures, and I'm really fighting a losing battle with both my to do list and time.

Life is good, my heart is full, and I'll figure this out.

PS - the crayons?  For inquiring minds, I baked them at 275 degrees for about 10 minutes.  As soon as the last of the solid crayons were gone, I took them out, stirred them a bit with a toothpick, and then I froze them to solidify quicker.

Ruby insists on dressing herself these days.


Steph said...

Wow! I feel like you took the words right out of my mouth!! I'd love to tell you that it gets easier as time goes by....which I'm sure it does....but my baby is 8 months old and I still haven't figured out how to fit it all in with 2! I'll let you know when I gain my sanity back....if that ever happens! :-) Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the crayon instructions! :) As the mother of 4, I can assure you that it does get easier... sort of. Anything new gets easier with practise, and juggling a baby and toddler fits into that category. Also I let things go, because I had to. I look back at photos of the house when I just had one baby and marvel at how clean and tidy it was, lol! The more people live in a house, the more stuff there is to fit in there, and the more mess there is - I'm sure there's a mathematical equation to prove all that, like e=mc2, but I haven't got time to figure it out. Accept a bit more mess, figure out what your necessities are for feeling sane, and make sure those are done, anything else can wait!

BUT!! I found going from one baby to two was the hardest change of all. Harder than going from 2 to 3, or even 3 to 4. Don't know why, maybe because the age gap was so small, but I had undiagnosed postnatal depression. It took 7mths before I felt like the fog was lifting and I started feeling happy again. I often told my husband that I couldn't cope, but he thought I was just meaning I'd had a bad day, and didn't realise I meant it literally. If you really can't cope, and you know it's too much - for whatever reason, you don't have to have a reason, and you don't have to be the worst case scenario before you're allowed to need help - tell people you need help! When people ask how you are, be honest and tell them... and when they say is there anything I can do, say 'YES! I'm so glad you asked' and hand them a list.

Ok, I'm joking a little bit, and I know this is a very long comment, and I know I might be reading a lot more into what you said than what you meant... but you did sound a lot like I used to, and I don't want you to feel miserable for as long as I did.

I'm going to stop now, I promise!

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