Saturday, December 18, 2010

maternity clothing fail

What is it exactly about the phrase maternity clothes that just makes me cringe?  Likely the numerous failed shopping attempts, both in person and online.

I have decided the real money would be in the maternity clothes field.  And I don't mean the maternity clothes that are already out there, because lets face it; there are only viable options if you a) enjoy spending a dreadful amount of money for something that will be temporary and b) like wearing clothing that doesn't properly fit, and c) prefer hideous patterns over more simplistic things.

I am not weirdly-shaped in my bottom half, and maternity pants are dreadful.  The massive elastic band that stretches to your chin and falls down with any normal movement, the way there is a six-inch gap in the crotch region and strange baggy areas on the sides of the thighs, the fact that they are all two inches too short.  I have tried every size, shape, and color of maternity pants.  Forget finding any you love; I try to find some that are bearable for something under fifty dollars.

And how 'bout them maternity shirts?  I'm not one to wear animal print or floral fabric tents; I also don't enjoy wearing things that appear to be twelve sizes too big.  And I love the maternity clothing that fits until you reach the third trimester-that's especially thrilling when you have already paid the marked up price for clothing that you can wear for a few months.

What is it about pregnant women that makes these clothing manufacturers believe they would like to look like clowns in the circus?

I have come to decide I need to become a fashion designer of maternity clothing.  Cute, affordable, fitting  maternity clothing is unheard of.

1 comment:

Hannah said...

Oh, please do! I am completely with you on the horrifying pieces of "clothing" we have to squeeze our gloriously-maternal-selves into. I want to look pretty when I'm the size of a whale - is that to much to ask? I'd buy your line! Your taste is lovely!
Love your blog :-)

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