Friday, October 23, 2009

Last Year

I love fall.

I have always loved fall, but ever since I gave birth in the fall, it's a little bit more special.

And if you know me, you know how attached I am to memories.

On average, I probably think of my pregnancy/labor/delivery once a day.

Yes, sometimes I wonder if it's normal.

But what an amazing time in my life. But the last few weeks have riddled me with Last year at this time, I was...

Let me let you slip into my memory.

Last year at this time, I was absolutely consumed with thoughts of how our lives were about to change.

I tried to soak up every single detail of fall (a little more than usual) as I enjoyed the last few weeks of being pregnant with my beautiful baby.

Last year at this time I anticipated my delivery. I had no idea when it would be (which was exciting, but intimidating!), I had no idea if I could do it, and I had no idea how it would feel (um, aside from the obvious).

Most of all, I had no idea who I would meet on that special day.

Last year at this time, I looked like this:

Please hold off on the fat jokes-I know it's hard to resist.

Last year at this time, I talked, rubbed, sang, and spoke in really silly voices to my belly many times a day.

Last year at this time, a sickness was slowly taking over my body, that I wouldn't find out until the day I delivered. In the meantime, I just looked miserable.

Last year at this time, I was beginning to tire of the ridiculous comments from both complete strangers and people I knew well.

Last year at this time, I averaged waking up 5 times in the middle of the night.

Last year at this time, I was so naive.

I had no idea how much our lives would change. I had no idea that I had a beautiful baby girl growing in my belly. I had no idea how much joy a tiny little being could bring to your life.

Last year, I didn't believe in love at first sight.

One year changes so much. Instead of feeling the baby gymnastics from the inside, I have a near-toddler to chase all over my house and kiss on the face 100 times a day. I have a child who has a zest for life and learning that fills me so much joy. I have so much love in my heart for this little person.

This fall, I get to enjoy my sweet girl on the outside which is so much better than last. But I'll always carry fond memories of both situations. What an amazing year it has been.

Oh and this year? I now believe in love at first sight.

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