Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Elementary Do Nots

TLC could have a hay day with the fashion faux pas found in every elementary on the planet. I'm not sure where or how to break this chain of horrible reoccuring hairstyles and clothing choices, but someone should sure step up and try.

It's picture day here at school which means [unfortunately] some dreadful outfit choices come out of the closet. It's like fabric that should be considered illegal, much less be made into a clothing option UNITE day. Maybe they're the outfits that Grandma made and are otherwise unworn, but I can just picture the faces and reactions of some of these poor kids in 12 years. And they all have the same thoughts: "What did my mother dress me in that?!"

I know this because unfortunately I look back with the same thoughts. Usually, the primary focus of disgust is all in the bangs. Oh, the bangs. What on Earth would posess someone to curl their bangs in tiny curls and then encourage them to have a seemingly impossible height and surface area, staying put with a wretched amount of hairspray? Thankfully, that style does not seem to have come back, and if it does, you can be sure that I will not be participating. Been there, done that. However, the bangs are still an eye sore. Mostly because the majority of little girls have about twice as many as they need and they're cut in a blunt line across their forehead. Someone, please tell me why we make our kids wear them? Don't get me wrong-there are the parents that have discovered how distracting the bangs are and are growing them out. Growing out bangs seems to take a decade. Meanwhile, they just hang in your face. And on the much-anticipated picture day, they are no doubt glued to the kid's head in the morning. By the time it's actually time for your class's pictures to be taken, they may as well have voices of their own so that they could just scream "This kid will opt for the picture retakes!"

One would think that looking back on our own horrendous childhood fashion choices, that we would choose to take an alternate path for our own children and, well, I don't know dress them in at least something that wasn't a risky fashion choice at the time (nevermind a fashion statement from 40 years ago). If your kid doesn't normally wear a bow tie to school, don't make him wear one for picture day. Little House on the Prairie-are you resurfacing and looking for cast members? I have several for you, braids, puffy sleeves and quilty fabric included.

Raggedy Ann and Andy have been adopted into my class for today-apron dresses, tall stockings and all. Halloween is getting a run for it's money with all of the showcased outfits on school picture day.

Maybe it would be better to be that kid that forgot (you know there's one in every class, every year). You know the one rocking the I just rolled out of bed look, toothpaste around the mouth, bedhead, and yesterday's clothing. At least they look, ya know, genuine. Not a character from a storybook or one taken straight out of the 80s.

gotta love the matching susbender and bowtie ensemble we have going on.

showcasing the toddler mullett. Priceless.

Pounds of bangs. (Check out Eric's paint splattered overalls).

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