Thursday, May 7, 2009

sudden remembrance

I have a busy weekend planned, and for once, I don't have to find the moments in between to cram school-related crap projects in just to ensure that I finish them. This is weekend is all about the social life..centered around the wee ones too. I have a baby shower to go to (is it really weird that I find these things like really exciting? If so, pretend I didn't tell you that), a birthday party (for a five year old), and some craft time with a friend. I think I'll be sneaking a mini shopping trip in tomorrow afternoon too, which I can't say I mind. Don't think I could squeeze in much more, and all things that I love!

The other day I smelled something. Wow, that sounds so funny I sort of just want to leave that sentence alone. But, in all seriousness, it wasn't funny. I have an extreme affinity for nostalgia and all things remembered. I can smell a specific scent or hear a song and memories come rushing back to me. Unforunately, this smell was one that reminded me of that time a year and a half ago (I can't even believe it is so far gone) that I lost our baby. It doesn't necessarily make sense because I most certainly did not spritz on the perfume in preparation for my trip to the emergency room, but I guess it's because I wore it so much over the time period directly before it. I got it for Christmas right before that (I lost the baby on January 6th) and haven't worn it sense. I don't dare open the bottle, so it sits, collecting dust (what, you didn't think I dusted every day, did you?) on my bathroom counter. Part of me hates that I can't let this go, but the other part of me secretly cherishes the little things that give cause to remember that sweet baby. Not that I have or ever will forget, but I will always hold a special place in my heart for our first little angel. The was by far the hardest thing I have ever had to overcome in my life-what a horrible thing to go through. But it greatly intensified my relationship with the Lord and for that I will be forever thankful. So, maybe I should associate that smell with my closer walk with Christ in the months following. And after all, I wouldn't have the beautiful Ruby in my life.

Speaking of her, can you believe it's been six months since this? actually more like 6 and a half-I was only 38 weeks here:

I know you're all just dying to know the secret to making your own face so swollen, and the truth is, if I told you I would be giving away all of my beauty secrets.
To the untrained eye, it would appear that I am desperate to own a basketball and therefore smuggling one from somewhere, but I can assure you that that was just my body making sure that the princess was nice and comfy in there. Thoughtful, no?

And somewhere along the line, she went from this:

To this:

how in the world did that happen?!
In more random news, the computer doctor visited today and (are you ready for this?!) found one hundred and eighteen infected files on my computer. Learning experience here: if you are relying on McAffee to protect your computer and let you know when harmful things are near, you should just throw that program in the garbage now. Not two weeks ago, I scanned nearly 200,000 files (is anyone else impressed that there are that many files on my computer??) and it came up with...ZERO infected things. So, it's defragmenting now, and hopefully that will be the cure. The alternative would be another computer.


Hillary (Mrs. Einstein) said...

I think you should cherish your baby. What happened is a part of your life and has helped shape who you are. I'm glad it make your walk stronger; that doesn't happen to everyone.

Tag! You're it!

leanne said...

No way...that photo of your pregnant belly doesn't even look real!

I think sometimes the best thing that comes out of a hard time is that our walk with the LORD grows.

It was great fun having you and Ruby at my baby shower! See you soon.

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