Wednesday, March 4, 2009

One Year Later.

One year ago today, I took a pregnancy test. One year ago today, I found out that there was a little person growing inside of me at that very instant.

One year later, I have a baby who is a mere six days away from being four months old. My world has been completely flipped upside down in a way that I never could have imagined. And I wouldn't change a single bit of it for the world.

I felt like I was walking on a world of eggshells for the first four months of my pregnancy. I trusted God as he blessed us with a miracle so soon after we lost our first little one, but it was so hard not to have doubts. And in true dedicated (or obsessive, whichever you prefer) fashion, I avoided a long list of things like the plague--just to be extra safe. It was like 251 days of Lent with a list of sacrifices including all caffeine (how I missed Starbucks), deli meat (let me just tell you that I proceeded to eat two packages of salami within two weeks of having Ruby), meat with the slightest of pink, medicine of any sort, salad dressings, cake batter and cookie dough (did you miss the part about me living for junk food??), seafood, and hot baths..actually all baths.

Every time I stop to think, I feel as though I really cannot grasp just how precious life is. Certainly I feel absolutely blessed with the miracle we can call our daughter, but I can't wrap my mind around all of the perfections-all the way down to the tiny capillaries visible on her eyelids. She's a tiny human being put together in such a flawless manner-it's mind-blowing to me when I really stop and think about it.

I'll never forget the rush of emotions we swam through together as we discovered that we were once again expecting. Should I be scared? Absolutely-I was terrified. But I had an overwhelming feeling of peace-something I didn't have the first go 'round. Don't misunderstand; I would definitely have classified myself as an all out lunatic with obsessive compulsive disorder on all accounts, but I only acted as such in the name of keeping my baby safe. ;)

It was almost like I needed to torture myself-I took the test and then jumped in the shower before allowing the results to display. Quite honestly, I would have been shocked if the results had been negative-I had an eery sense that I just was pregnant and that all would be well. And it was. My heart raced as I called home to give Mom the most wonderful birthday gift I could think of and I nervously blurted out my news to Dad as soon as he picked up the phone.

Our lives will never be the same. We have created a person with pieces of both of us and she's the most precious thing in our lives-God is so good!

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...